1. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Answer: Because he was already stuffed!

2. What has hands but can’t clap?
Answer: A clock.

3. What room do ghosts avoid?
Answer: The living room!

4. Why did the student eat his homework?
Answer: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!

5. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Answer: Nacho cheese!

6. Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Answer: Because it wasn’t peeling well!

7. What kind of tree fits in your hand?
Answer: A palm tree!

8. What did one wall say to the other wall?
Answer: “I’ll meet you at the corner!”

9. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
Answer: A gummy bear!

10. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
Answer: Because then it would be a foot!

11. What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Answer: “Hi, bud!”

12. What kind of key opens a banana?
Answer: A monkey!

13. What’s brown, sticky, and funny?
Answer: A stick!

14. What has ears but cannot hear?
Answer: A cornfield.

15. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
Answer: In case he got a hole in one!

16. What do you call a sleeping bull?
Answer: A bulldozer!

17. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
Answer: A carrot!

18. Why did the math book look sad?
Answer: Because it had too many problems!

19. What did one plate say to the other?
Answer: “Lunch is on me!”

20. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Answer: Because he was outstanding in his field!

21. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room?
Answer: The living room.

22. Why did the bicycle fall over?
Answer: It was two-tired!

23. What did the ocean say to the beach?
Answer: Nothing — it just waved!

24. What do you call a dinosaur with bad eyesight?
Answer: A Do-you-think-he-saurus!

25. What do you call fake spaghetti?
Answer: An impasta!

26. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Answer: Because it felt crummy!

27. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
Answer: A rocket chip!

28. What building has the most stories?
Answer: The library.

29. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Answer: He wanted to go to high school!

30. Why can’t Elsa have a balloon?
Answer: Because she’ll let it go!

31. What has four wheels and flies?
Answer: A garbage truck.

32. Why did the chicken go to the séance?
Answer: To talk to the other side!

33. What did one volcano say to the other?
Answer: “I lava you!”

34. Why can’t a pony sing?
Answer: Because it’s a little hoarse!

35. Why did the student eat his pencil?
Answer: He wanted to draw attention!

36. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
Answer: You’d think it’s R, but it’s the C!

37. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Answer: Fsh!

38. Why are ghosts bad liars?
Answer: Because they’re too transparent!

39. What kind of bow can’t be tied?
Answer: A rainbow!

40. What’s a witch’s favorite school subject?
Answer: Spelling!

41. What did the big tomato say to the little tomato?
Answer: “Ketchup!”

42. Why can’t your hand be 12 inches long?
Answer: Because then it would be a foot!

43. What’s black and white and read all over?
Answer: A newspaper!

44. What did one pencil say to the other pencil?
Answer: “You’re looking sharp!”

45. What’s brown, furry, and wears sunglasses?
Answer: A cool bear!

46. Why did the music teacher go to jail?
Answer: Because she got caught with the wrong notes!

47. What has one head, one foot, and four legs?
Answer: A bed.

48. What do you call a dinosaur that’s sleeping?
Answer: A dino-snore!

49. Why did the picture go to jail?
Answer: Because it was framed!

50. Why don’t elephants use computers?
Answer: They’re afraid of the mouse!

51. Why did the tomato turn red?
Answer: Because it saw the salad dressing!

52. What do you call a bear that’s stuck in the rain?
Answer: A drizzly bear!

53. Why did the golfer bring an extra shirt?
Answer: In case he got a hole in one!

54. Why was the math book unhappy?
Answer: It had too many problems.

55. What’s a cat’s favorite color?
Answer: Purr-ple!

56. Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?
Answer: Because it ran out of juice!

57. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Answer: Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!

58. What did the zero say to the eight?
Answer: “Nice belt!”

59. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Answer: Because they make up everything!

60. Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Answer: It had a virus!

61. What did one math book say to the other?
Answer: “I’ve got problems!”

62. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
Answer: Because then it would be a foot!

63. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite!

64. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Answer: He wanted to go to high school!

65. What do you call a sleeping bull?
Answer: A bulldozer!

66. Why was six afraid of seven?
Answer: Because seven eight nine!

67. What’s a cow’s favorite place to go?
Answer: The moo-vies!

68. Why did the bicycle fall over?
Answer: It was two-tired!

69. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Answer: Sneakers!

70. What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Answer: Hiss-tory!

71. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
Answer: A blood orange!

72. What do you call a fish that wears a bowtie?
Answer: Sofishticated!

73. Why did the broom get a promotion?
Answer: It swept the competition!

74. Why did the kid bring a spoon to school?
Answer: To stir up trouble!

75. What kind of room doesn’t have doors or windows?
Answer: A mushroom!

76. What did the banana say to the dog?
Answer: Nothing — bananas can’t talk!

77. What’s a tornado’s favorite game to play?
Answer: Twister!

78. What did one plate say to the other plate?
Answer: “Dinner’s on me!”

79. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Answer: It felt crummy!

80. What animal needs to wear a wig?
Answer: A bald eagle!

81. Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
Answer: To reach the high notes!

82. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?
Answer: Frostbite!

83. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
Answer: They don’t have the guts!

84. Why did the cow go to outer space?
Answer: To see the moooon!

85. What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Answer: Wrap music!

86. What’s a vampire’s favorite dog?
Answer: A bloodhound!

87. Why was the computer cold?
Answer: It left its Windows open!

88. Why was the belt sent to jail?
Answer: For holding up a pair of pants!

89. What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
Answer: Time to get a new clock!

90. What did the traffic light say to the car?
Answer: “Don’t look! I’m changing!”

91. What’s a frog’s favorite candy?
Answer: Lollihops!

92. What did one eye say to the other?
Answer: “Between us, something smells!”

93. Why did the kid bring a flashlight to bed?
Answer: To study light reading!

94. What’s a cat’s favorite movie?
Answer: The Sound of Mewsic!

95. Why do bees have sticky hair?
Answer: Because they use honeycombs!

96. What kind of key opens a haunted house?
Answer: A spoo-key!

97. Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road?
Answer: It ran out of juice!

98. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Answer: I-scream!

99. Why can’t a leopard hide?
Answer: Because he’s always spotted!

100. Why did the kid throw his clock out the window?
Answer: He wanted to see time fly!