1. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
Answer: a gummy bear

2. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Answer: because he was outstanding in his field

3. What do you call fake spaghetti?
Answer: an impasta

4. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
Answer: in case he got a hole in one

5. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
Answer: they don’t have the guts

6. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Answer: nacho cheese

7. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
Answer: it was two-tired

8. What did the ocean say to the beach?
Answer: nothing, it just waved

9. Why did the math book look sad?
Answer: because it had too many problems

10. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
Answer: so-fish-ticated

11. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
Answer: because then it would be a foot

12. What did one wall say to the other?
Answer: I’ll meet you at the corner

13. Why did the tomato turn red?
Answer: because it saw the salad dressing

14. Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
Answer: because they’re shellfish

15. How do you organize a space party?
Answer: you planet

16. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?
Answer: because he was always spotted

17. Why did the golfer bring an extra shirt?
Answer: in case of a hole in one

18. Why did the orange stop?
Answer: it ran out of juice

19. What do you call a sleeping bull?
Answer: a bulldozer

20. Why are ghosts bad liars?
Answer: because they are too transparent

21. What’s Forrest Gump’s email password?
Answer: 1forest1

22. What did one plate say to the other plate?
Answer: dinner’s on me

23. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Answer: because she’ll let it go

24. What’s brown and sticky?
Answer: a stick

25. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
Answer: they’d crack each other up

26. Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Answer: because he was a fungi

27. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Answer: sneakers

28. Why did the bicycle fall over?
Answer: it was two-tired

29. What do you call a pile of cats?
Answer: a meowtain

30. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Answer: because they make up everything

31. What do you call a pig that does karate?
Answer: a pork chop

32. What did the zero say to the eight?
Answer: nice belt

33. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Answer: supplies

34. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
Answer: an abdominal snowman

35. Why did the chicken join a band?
Answer: because it had the drumsticks

36. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Answer: because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels

37. What did one hat say to the other?
Answer: you stay here, I’ll go on ahead

38. Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Answer: because it wasn’t peeling well

39. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
Answer: it let out a little wine

40. Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Answer: it had a virus

41. Why did the coffee file a police report?
Answer: it got mugged

42. What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Answer: hey bud

43. What kind of key opens a banana?
Answer: a monkey

44. Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted?
Answer: he was outstanding in his field

45. Why did the math teacher love trees?
Answer: because of their natural logs

46. Why don’t koalas count as bears?
Answer: they don’t have the koalafications

47. What’s a cat’s favorite color?
Answer: purr-ple

48. Why can’t a leopard hide?
Answer: he’s always spotted

49. Why did the cow go to outer space?
Answer: to see the moooon

50. Why was the stadium so hot?
Answer: because all the fans left

51. Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Answer: because some relationships don’t work out

52. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
Answer: an investigator

53. Why was the computer cold?
Answer: it left its Windows open

54. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
Answer: a carrot

55. Why did the man put his money in the blender?
Answer: he wanted to make some liquid assets

56. Why was the broom late?
Answer: it swept in

57. Why do cows wear bells?
Answer: because their horns don’t work

58. Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
Answer: to reach the high notes

59. Why was the belt arrested?
Answer: for holding up the pants

60. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
Answer: a stick

61. Why did the calendar get popular?
Answer: because it had a lot of dates

62. Why did the man run around his bed?
Answer: he was trying to catch up on sleep

63. Why did the picture go to jail?
Answer: because it was framed

64. Why did the banana go out with the prune?
Answer: because it couldn’t find a date

65. Why did the barber win the race?
Answer: he knew all the shortcuts

66. Why did the fish blush?
Answer: because it saw the ocean’s bottom

67. Why don’t you play cards in the jungle?
Answer: too many cheetahs

68. What do you call a snowman in summer?
Answer: a puddle

69. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Answer: because it felt crummy

70. Why can’t your hand be twelve inches long?
Answer: because then it would be a foot

71. Why did the stadium get hot after the game?
Answer: all the fans left

72. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Answer: he wanted to go to high school

73. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?
Answer: he had no body to go with him

74. What kind of tree fits in your hand?
Answer: a palm tree

75. Why was the math lecture so long?
Answer: the professor kept going off on a tangent

76. Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory?
Answer: lack of concentration

77. Why did the banker switch careers?
Answer: he lost interest

78. Why did the pencil smell bad?
Answer: it was a number two

79. Why did the farmer win an award?
Answer: because he was outstanding in his field

80. What do you call a belt made of watches?
Answer: a waist of time

81. Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm?
Answer: because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears

82. Why did the cat sit on the computer?
Answer: to keep an eye on the mouse

83. Why don’t scientists trust stairs?
Answer: because they’re always up to something

84. Why did the man put his watch in the blender?
Answer: he wanted to make time fly

85. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of socks?
Answer: in case he got a hole in one

86. Why did the coffee go to school?
Answer: to get a little smarter

87. Why was the mushroom invited to the party?
Answer: because he was a fungi

88. Why was the calendar nervous?
Answer: its days were numbered

89. Why did the music note go to jail?
Answer: it got caught in treble

90. Why did the ghost go into the bar?
Answer: for the boos

91. Why do ducks have feathers?
Answer: to cover their butt quacks

92. Why did the pirate go to the seafood restaurant?
Answer: because he heard they had great fish ‘n ships

93. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Answer: because it was stuffed

94. Why was the math book sad?
Answer: because it had too many problems

95. Why did the tree go to the dentist?
Answer: to get a root canal

96. Why did the computer get glasses?
Answer: to improve its web-sight

97. Why was the belt so good at work?
Answer: it always held things together

98. Why did the man bring a pencil to bed?
Answer: to draw the curtains

99. Why did the tomato blush?
Answer: it saw the salad dressing

100. Why did the man get hit by a bike every day?
Answer: he was stuck in a vicious cycle

101. Why did the photo go to jail?
Answer: it was framed