1. Why did the math book look sad?
Answer: Because it had too many problems.

2. What has four wheels and flies?
Answer: A garbage truck!

3. What kind of room has no doors or windows?
Answer: A mushroom.

4. Why was the computer cold?
Answer: It left its Windows open!

5. What has ears but cannot hear?
Answer: A cornfield.

6. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Answer: Because he was outstanding in his field.

7. What gets wetter the more it dries?
Answer: A towel.

8. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Answer: Fsh.

9. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
Answer: They don’t have the guts.

10. What did one ocean say to the other?
Answer: Nothing, they just waved.

11. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
Answer: In case he got a hole in one!

12. What has a head, a tail, is brown, and has no legs?
Answer: A penny.

13. Why did the bicycle fall over?
Answer: It was two-tired!

14. What’s black, white, and red all over?
Answer: A sunburned zebra.

15. What runs but never walks?
Answer: Water.

16. Why did the tomato turn red?
Answer: Because it saw the salad dressing!

17. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Answer: Nacho cheese!

18. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?
Answer: Because he was always spotted.

19. What kind of tree fits in your hand?
Answer: A palm tree.

20. What did the zero say to the eight?
Answer: Nice belt!

21. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
Answer: A carrot.

22. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
Answer: Because they might crack up!

23. What comes down but never goes up?
Answer: Rain.

24. Why was the math lecture so long?
Answer: The professor kept going off on a tangent.

25. Why did the music teacher go to jail?
Answer: Because she got caught with the wrong notes.

26. What’s full of holes but still holds water?
Answer: A sponge.

27. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Answer: Because it felt crummy.

28. What’s brown and sticky?
Answer: A stick.

29. Why did the chicken join a band?
Answer: Because it had the drumsticks!

30. What’s always in front of you but can’t be seen?
Answer: The future.

31. Why was six afraid of seven?
Answer: Because seven eight (ate) nine!

32. Why don’t we tell secrets on a farm?
Answer: Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.

33. What kind of key opens a banana?
Answer: A monkey.

34. What has many keys but can’t open doors?
Answer: A piano.

35. Why did the student eat his homework?
Answer: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!

36. What has a face and two hands but no arms or legs?
Answer: A clock.

37. Why did the man run around his bed?
Answer: He was trying to catch up on his sleep.

38. What’s black and white and goes round and round?
Answer: A penguin in a revolving door.

39. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Answer: Because she’ll let it go!

40. What gets bigger the more you take away?
Answer: A hole.

41. What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Answer: “Hey, bud!”

42. Why did the picture go to jail?
Answer: Because it was framed.

43. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
Answer: A gummy bear.

44. Why was the broom late?
Answer: It swept in!

45. What’s a snake’s favorite subject?
Answer: Hiss-tory.

46. What has one eye but can’t see?
Answer: A needle.

47. What do you call fake spaghetti?
Answer: An impasta.

48. Why did the golfer bring an extra shirt?
Answer: In case he got a hole in one.

49. What did the traffic light say to the car?
Answer: Don’t look! I’m changing.

50. What kind of bow can’t be tied?
Answer: A rainbow.

51. Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Answer: Because it wasn’t peeling well!

52. What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Answer: Wrap music.

53. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
Answer: Because then it would be a foot.

54. What do you call a snowman in summer?
Answer: A puddle.

55. What did one wall say to the other?
Answer: I’ll meet you at the corner!

56. What do you call a sleeping bull?
Answer: A bulldozer.

57. What’s faster, hot or cold?
Answer: Hot, because you can catch cold!

58. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Answer: Because he wanted to go to high school.

59. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
Answer: A thesaurus.

60. What lights up a soccer stadium?
Answer: A soccer match.

61. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Answer: Sneakers.

62. Why did the barber win the race?
Answer: Because he took a shortcut.

63. What kind of dog loves to take baths?
Answer: A shampoo-dle.

64. What kind of bird works at a construction site?
Answer: A crane.

65. What did the big candle say to the little candle?
Answer: “I’m going out tonight.”

66. Why did the kid sit on his watch?
Answer: He wanted to be on time.

67. What is brown, hairy, and wears sunglasses?
Answer: A coconut on vacation.

68. What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Answer: A pork chop.

69. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Answer: Because it was stuffed.

70. What kind of tree can fit in your hand?
Answer: A palm tree.

71. What do you call a cow with no legs?
Answer: Ground beef.

72. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Answer: I scream!

73. What’s brown, has a head, and goes up and down?
Answer: A penny in an elevator.

74. What did one hat say to the other?
Answer: “Stay here — I’m going on ahead.”

75. Why did the man put his money in the blender?
Answer: He wanted to make some liquid assets.

76. What’s a cat’s favorite color?
Answer: Purr-ple.

77. Why was the broom so tired?
Answer: Because it swept all night.

78. Why did the belt go to jail?
Answer: For holding up a pair of pants!

79. Why did the fish blush?
Answer: Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.

80. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Answer: “Between you and me, something smells.”

81. Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?
Answer: Because it ran out of juice.

82. Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
Answer: To reach the high notes.

83. What did one plate say to the other plate?
Answer: “Lunch is on me.”

84. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
Answer: An investigator.

85. Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
Answer: Because they’re shellfish.

86. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
Answer: It let out a little wine!

87. What’s a frog’s favorite drink?
Answer: Croak-a-cola.

88. What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Answer: De-calf-inated.

89. What kind of key opens a haunted house?
Answer: A spoo-key!

90. Why did the calendar look so popular?
Answer: Because it had a lot of dates.

91. What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
Answer: A dino-snore.

92. What did one volcano say to the other?
Answer: “I lava you.”

93. What do you call a bear that’s stuck in the rain?
Answer: A drizzly bear.

94. Why did the man stare at the can of orange juice?
Answer: Because it said, “Concentrate.”

95. Why did the clock go to the principal’s office?
Answer: For tocking too much.

96. Why did the student eat a light bulb?
Answer: He wanted a bright idea.

97. What kind of car does a sheep drive?
Answer: A lamborghini.

98. Why did the computer go to art class?
Answer: To learn how to draw its windows.

99. What do you call a sleeping insect?
Answer: A nap dragon.

100. What’s the funniest kind of fish?
Answer: A clownfish!